


Sweet as Jam

by BandaBecca



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 06:59:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18544645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BandaBecca/pseuds/BandaBecca
Summary: Balls bring out the worst in Commander Rutherford, but this one in Skyhold may be a chance to finally tell Inquisitor Llavellan how he feels about her.





	Sweet as Jam

**Author's Note:**

> Inquisitor Olivier (oh-LIV-ee-yay) and our precious Commander!

Just like always, she was like smoke, sneaking up on me despite the sharp red gown she wore.  
‘Somehow, I thought I could avoid Count Dieckmann.’

I tried not to start at her sudden, lingering whisper in my ear. I knew the Count’s reputation. Everyone did. I didn’t turn, certain my voice would meet her sensitive ears. ‘Are you all right?’

‘I am. His left hand, less so.’

I smiled. ‘Josie can manoeuvre so it never happened.’

She pushed a glass of champagne into my hand, stepping in front of me then. ‘No need. In the end, it was he who apologised.’

She raised her glass but didn’t bring it to her lips, jerking her head in the direction of the revellers. ‘They don’t have to know we both hate champagne. It’ll give us a few undisturbed minutes until people realise they shouldn’t wait for us to finish them.’

I didn’t miss the glances. At us both, but mostly at her, and I knew she’d be lucky to get those few minutes. She couldn’t just turn everyone down all night like I had been.

A group of five overdressed nobles moved closer to us, and Olivier almost imperceptivity tensed. ‘Do you care for a dance, Commander?’ She didn’t look at me.

‘I—’ She looked up then, not completely, only with her eyes, as if fully expecting me to say—

‘No, thank you.’

She swallowed and flushed. ‘Oh. I’m—all right.’ She set her glass precariously on the edge of the table and approached the now unignorable group, asking one of the women for a dance.

Olivier didn’t look back, but she didn’t have to. I could see her pink ear tips from here.

My chest burned, knowing right away, but still too late that I’d made the wrong choice. I tried to convince myself I’d turned her down for the same reason I’d never tried to get closer to her since we met, even if I wanted to: it would start rumours. That was a part of it, but dancing in front of all those people…even if it were a chance to dance with her…

I’d make a fool of us both. 

Olivier didn’t look at me the rest of the night. And I knew, because she was all I could look at.

She wasn’t a dancer, she had said so, but Maker, did she look amazing out there. Perhaps it was because I didn’t know anything about dancing, but to me, she looked music incarnate. She ebbed and flowed with the melodies, weaving in and out of the arms of multiple partners and away from more than a few wandering hands. 

I tried to approach her once when she had stolen a few moments with Dorian, but before I could join them, her ears twitched toward me. She said something to Dorian, Dorian’s eyes darted away from her face to mine, he nodded, and the two spun away before I could reach out to her. 

It was in Dorian’s embrace that she truly came alive. Even after hours of non-stop dancing, every bend, twirl, and flourish perfect complimented his movements. I had a fleeting thought that any noble watching her would be able to tell in an instant that she had been holding back when she danced with them. I knew there was nothing between the two—not that I was allowed an opinion if there was. Still, I had to school my features into a neutral expression as I watched them.

‘Perhaps you should ask her to dance.’ I had no excuse for not hearing Cassandra’s approach. She had none of Olivier’s stealth. 

‘I’m fine.’

‘Anyone could see that you’re not.’

Schooled features indeed. 

‘It’s hard for me to watch your relationship progress—if you can call it that. How torturous must it be for you?’ 

‘Cassandra—’

She angled her body toward me. ‘I know you doubt. I understand. But if you saw the way she brightens when she receives a report from you when we’re out in the field, you’d doubt much less.’

I looked out at Olivier as she whispered something to Dorian, and the two brought their heads together in a conspiratory giggle. 

Even if what Cass was saying were true, how could I ever approach her about it? She was…that. All that. And I was one of 300 other pairs of eyes on her at that very moment.

‘You don’t have to start out alone. I’ll lead you through the dance, just long enough to reach her.’ Cassandra took a step forward. 

My nerves jumped to attention. Dancing wouldn’t solve this, was she mad?

She didn’t give me time to deliberate. She pulled me forward and led us toward Dorian and Olivier. As Olivier’s form neared, I stopped resisting Cass.

It didn’t take long for Dorian to spot us. His eyebrows shot up. 

‘Almost there,’ Cassandra said with too much glee in her voice.

That was when Olivier turned to see what Doran was starting at. Her eyes landed on me, then moved to Cassandra, her gaze lingering on our joined hands. I let go just as Olivier pulled herself from Dorian’s grasp, looking at him before slipping away to the edge of the dancing.

‘I may not have thought that through completely,’ Cassandra said.

‘What exactly were you aiming for, Seeker?’

‘We were heading in your direction. Cullen was going to…’

‘I see. It may not have looked like that to her.’

I felt desperate now. Either Olivier thought Cass and I were…or if she didn’t think that, it still looked like I’d been willing to dance with Cass and not with her.

I rubbed my forehead roughly. I really was stupid. 

‘I’m sorry, Cullen. I’ll go talk to her and explain,’ Cass said, worried eyes on the door Oliver had just gone through.

Dorian rolled his eyes and grabbed Cass and I both by the wrists, pulling us out of the throng of dancers. ‘I can fix this.’ He stopped at a tapestry somewhat hidden behind a pillar. Releasing us, he reached behind it and pulled out a slender, blue bottle filled to the top with a deep purple liquid. ‘I was saving this to surprise her, but you clearly need it more than I do.’

I rotated the bottle slowly in my hands, looking for any clue as to the contents. ‘What is it?’

‘The wine her Clan drinks at festivals. It was no small feat to find it, so you owe me a big favour.’

‘Uh, of course. Thank you, Dorian.’ I was tempted to refuse to take credit for something I’d had no part in, but then, my desire to fix things with Olivier was greater than my discomfort.

‘Just, please, don’t waste my effort on a simple apology. Make it count.’ He gave me a meaningful look. I just nodded, not knowing how to respond.

‘Get a move on, Commander. There’s more going on tonight than your romance with Olivier.’

I opened my mouth to argue, but Cass pushed me toward the door.

I closed it behind me, the relative silence settling heavily over me. The wine felt cold in my hand despite the heat of my skin as I followed the steps up, searching for the right words I could use to tell her I was sorry. To…do more than that, like Dorian suggested.

I hadn’t yet come up with a plan when I reached the door to the balcony overlooking the gardens. But the thought of making her wait any longer while I wrote myself a script seemed a good way to make matters infinitely worse.

The door screeched when I pushed it, and I cringed at the sound. Olivier was faced away from me, leaning on the railing, the dark, exposed skin of her back shining in the moonlight.

She started when she heard the door, any trace of bashfulness gone as she spotted me, only to turn away from me again. Olivier was always kind and sensitive, even when people didn’t deserve it. This was the first time I’d seen her direct disdain at anyone. I hadn’t particularly wanted to be her first target.

‘Olivier. I’m…sorry.’ Very eloquent, Rutherford.

‘What do you have to be sorry for? I’m just taking a moment to enjoy the cool air after all that dancing. Alone.’

I thought of Dorian’s words. Of Cassandra’s. Of my own feelings. And most importantly, the way she acted when she was with me. A way I’d been too afraid to believe meant the same to her at it did to me.

And here she was. Out here because of me. We wouldn’t be here at all if she didn’t feel something, right? Not that it made what I’d done any less hurtful.

‘Cassandra was helping me get to you. I didn’t figure that…walking straight across the dance floor would…’ I rubbed the back of my neck.

Her gaze was fixed on the garden below. I felt my chance to fix things slipping away. I couldn’t let that happen, not now that I’d decided to tell her the truth. ‘I can’t dance. But I don’t care. I realise how stupid I was not to accept your offer. I’d—love to dance with you. Even if all those nobles see—’

‘You making a fool of yourself?’ She turned toward me then. Her frown was gone, but she wasn’t smiling either. ‘You’ve already done that once today. All on your own.’

She took a step closer, her gaze avoiding direct eye contact like it had when she first asked me to dance. ‘I shouldn’t have gotten upset, it was stupid. I know there’s—I knew that there’s nothing between you and Cass. Not that there would be a problem if there was…’

She never stumbled over her words. Maker, she must feel scrambled.

‘There’s nothing between me and Cass, Olivier.’

The crickets chirped, their harmonies rebelling against those in the Main Hall. I pulled the wine from behind my back, extending it to her wordlessly. 

‘What’s this?’ she asked, reaching for the bottle.

‘It’s, um…’

She pulled the cork with a pop, lifting the bottle to her nose. Her shoulders tightened and her ears pricked up. ‘How did you—where did you find this?’

‘It’s a long story.’

She took a swig from the bottle and held the wine in her mouth and closed her eyes. She handed it to me as she swallowed. 

‘Try some.’

‘It’s yours. I wouldn’t.’

‘I want to share. Please.’

I took the bottle and she watched me closely as I drank only enough to sample the flavour. I wasn’t disappointed. Even without knowing its significance to Olivier, the wine was delightful. It was the perfect balance of sweet and bitter, the spices complimenting the blend without overwhelming it. 

I was so grateful for this peek into her world. ‘It’s incredible.’

‘Usually we have scores of it and dancing too. The next festival is for planting season. I’ll bring you with me if…uh, if Corypheus hasn’t destroyed Thedas by then.’

‘I would love to.’

She smiled and swirled the dark liquid in the bottle, holding it to her nose again. 

Seeing her so content for the first time that night, my heart stuttered. I took her hand. She stilled, and her eyes locked on mine. There was much more in my mind than what could be manipulated into words in Common, in any language, but I wasn’t going to waste this moment. She didn’t speak, but her gaze took on an attentiveness that caught my breath. She was waiting for me to say something, and I took a deep breath before starting. 

‘I care for you, Olivier. I have since Haven. Tonight, to me, it was more than a dance. I don’t want to assume that it was for you, but I think, well, perhaps it was more for you too.’

She smiled slightly and her cheeks reddened, but she didn’t look away from me this time. ‘Cullen. It’s been more for me for a long time.’

It was true. It was true. She felt something, same as I.

She placed the bottle on the ledge, setting the cork beside it, unheeded. She stepped closer to me, took my other hand, and her expression changed to one I hadn’t seen before. One I didn’t want her to use on anyone else. Her eyes moved to my lips, and I couldn’t wait any longer. I placed one hand at the back of her neck and the other on her lower back. I pulled her against me as she dragged her palms up over my shoulders and wound them around my neck. She clung to me and I to her as she angled her head to kiss me deeper. Our mouths and bodies moved together, and I felt a dizzying sensation of being entwined with her with more than our physical embrace. I wanted more, to touch and feel every inch to show her what, even now, I wanted to say but couldn’t. How much I hate it when she leaves and how painful it is waiting for her return. How often I’m haunted by dreams of her hurt and alone on the battlefield. That the Inquisition won’t be enough, and we won’t have a chance to learn where our future might lead.

Something hit the back of my head, and I jumped, spinning around but seeing nothing.

‘Cullen?’ Olivier peeked over my shoulder, and when I focused back on her, her eyes looked sleepy, dazed.

I raised my hand to the spot on my head, my fingers meeting warm stickiness. ‘I’m sorry. Something—’

She bent down and picked up a cloth sack, no bigger than my smallest finger. Reddish-purple liquid dripped from one corner. Olivier sniffed it. ‘Jam,’ she said. ‘Dammit, Sera!’ She shouted toward the stars.

But somewhere to the left of us was a familiar cackle. Olivier didn’t hesitate and threw the sack in the direction of the sound. I couldn’t see anything out there, but after a moment, there was a, ‘Hey!’

With a smug smile, she turned back toward me, reaching up and running her fingers through the hair on the back of my head. ‘There’s not too much in there.’ The motion of her hand changed to rub it in more than to pick it out. ‘No one will notice I think. Not without sniffing your hair. Which—’ her hand slowed, ‘I wouldn’t put it past some of them down there.’

I put a hand on her wrist, pulling it down between us. The palm of her hand was sticky as I traced my thumb over it, but it didn’t matter if I could touch the sweet skin underneath. ‘That isn’t going to happen.’

We both stared for a moment longer before her eyes flicked to the door behind me. ‘We’ve been away too long. They’ll talk.’

I closed the small gap between us, the heat of her body igniting mine. ‘I don’t care.’

She side-stepped around me and toward the door. ‘You should. You would tomorrow if we stayed. I’ll head back the way we came. You wait a few minutes and take the side corridor that leads to Vivienne’s solar.’

I nodded slowly, trying not to show my disappointment. Suddenly, her features brightened again. ‘I’m going to retire in about an hour. Come with me. Leliana and Josephine will too, and by the time you all leave, the Main Hall will be mostly clear.’

She rushed toward me then and kissed me, her lips lingering longer than her goodbye suggested she wanted, and I could feel her smile underneath.

‘So once they leave, no one will notice that you stayed.’

I swallowed hard, trying to contain the grin that threatened to rise to the surface. But she was smiling too, and I wondered why I still thought to hide how much I cared about her. 

She released my hand slowly, scooped up the wine, and corked it as she whisked herself back out the door.

My head was light and buzzing, and I forgot to note how long I waited to re-join everyone in the Main Hall. I mentally kicked myself as I descended the stairs, prepping myself to go back to being The Commander as soon as I re-entered.

When I emerged, the first face I saw was Dorian’s, intently focused on the dance floor, a strange but contented smile on his face. I followed his gaze to Olivier, spinning in the arms of a rather eccentric duchess whose name escaped me, but Olivier was as animated as ever as she laughed at something the duchess said. 

My eyes fell back to Dorian. He was looking at me now, giving an understated applause. I smiled into my collar as I took my place next to Cassandra. 

‘Olivier certainly came back happy.’

‘Did she?’ I said, my eyes on her swirling form.

‘And she is not the only one it seems.’


End file.
